A Strange Affair

As she once again watched Johanna leave, Avis felt a strange emotion well inside her. It took her several moments to identify it, and when she had, she was not encouraged. Longing. She longed to see Johanna again. She had already come to terms with the fact that Johanna was starting to become the only person she ever wanted in her bed, but now she wanted to talk to the girl. She wanted to.... spend time with her.

It was ridiculous. But she was not going to make a scene like last time. No. That had been a mistake. A serious mistake. The whole ship was abuzz with rumors as to why their commander was so infatuated with the young servant girl, and Avis would not have that. This time she would do it quietly.

She would ask the girl to stay the night the next time she was called. It had never been done. But she had already made so many firsts with Johanna. The girl was the first one who had actually been in her bedroom. No one else had ever been past the living area. Johanna first one that she had developed such a soft spot for. The thought of purposefully harming the girl actually made her physically shudder. She knew that she would fly off the handle one day, that it was inevitable. She would hurt Johanna. It was part of her nature. But she would not do it with a clear mind. She already knew that much.

Somehow, when she was with Johanna the world made more sense. The teetering of her mind, with which she had battled since she was a teenager, settled, stabilized when Johanna was near. She did not feel as out of control, not as frightened of what would happen should she lose that control that she had worked so hard to keep.

Avis sighed. This was becoming thoroughly frustrating. She was not accustomed to these feelings, though part of her was fairly certain that the girl might share them.

The prospect thrilled her

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a little something from Avis's perspective.

Johanna looks kind of like Natalie Portman here. she's not supposed to look like Natalie Portman. idk how that happened.

anyway, Jo gave me a lot of trouble, but i am very pleased with Avis. i shortened her nose a little bit to make it fit a little better.

more OC stuff here-> [link]

i'm really not very happy with how Johanna came out at all but i spent too much time trying to fix her already. oh well. i like her hair, so i guess that counts for something.